


Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary

by bubblegumjune



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: 6000 Years of Slow Burn, AU: I'm ignoring Infinity War and End Game, AU: everything is fine, F/M, Slow Burn, but she's special I promise, like seriously if blood grosses you out don't read, looks she's my old rpg character so be nice, mutant!reader, oh look another tortured!oc/bucket, tw: mild body horror, tw:blood, tw:torture, we're going to dip into some mutant stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-02-28 22:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18765091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblegumjune/pseuds/bubblegumjune
Summary: New Avengers recruit Harper Hemakeavric is trying, really. Trying to balance having weird powers, a new team, and an attraction to a certain one-armed-wonder is a lot to handle.





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is either, but my therapist said I needed a hobby, so here we are.

Harper Hemakeavric is just perfect, thanks for asking. Never mind the fact that she had to leave her old team...or ended up on a government watch list...suddenly found herself thrust under the supervision of SHEILD who thought for some reason it'd be a good idea to make her a freaking AVENGER, but hey, they must have had a good reason, right? So, it's fine. She's fine. Everything's fine. She's an assassin. A normal assassin.


	2. All Work And No Play Makes Jack A Dull Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sure, science is fun. But what about the wind in your hair? The fresh smell of gun powder in the morning?

Sometimes, just when you think life isn’t going your way after all the doors and windows have been welded shut, a trap door appears, and you know everything is going to be okay. Wait. No...nevermind. Backing up. Sometimes you have to leave your old team, and the government sends you to another one because you’re on a watch list and they “don’t want to lose tabs on you”. It’s not as bad as it sounds.

This is the mantra that’s been circling the mind of one Harper Hemakeavric’s brain while she gets ready for work. At least, it has been since she got “reassigned” to the lab in the Avenger’s tower. How it’s possible for a person to get reassigned to an entirely different organization is still beyond her, but a certain former supervisor came to her mind. The memory of her old team lead hit her like a sack of bricks; entirely too hard for this early in the morning. It almost sending her toppling to the floor as she not-so-gracefully tried to fight her tights. Where ever that dickwad was, she thought, she hoped he was suffering. A disgruntled meow pulled her out of her thoughts as a hulking grey cat jumped onto the bathroom counter.

“Sorry, Bubs, just a little self-conscious, ya know? Big day and all.” Harper rubbed the back of her neck, well aware that she’d resorted to talking aloud to her cat. She poured a large bowl of cat food and set it on the counter beside her, “I know I shouldn’t be nervous. I’ve done field work before. Hell, I’ve done fieldwork more than lab shit, but not with them. And I’ve been stuck in that lab for so long, what if I’ve lost my touch?” She gripped the edge of the sink, staring herself down in the mirror, “No, no Harper. That’s not how we talk about ourselves in this house.” With a roll of her neck, and a chirp of solidarity from Bubs, Harper was out the door and ready for her last day confined to the lab. Today was the day she’d finally be cleared for field work. Today’s the day she has a lot of explaining to do. Well, maybe that can wait until later.

 

The lab was her happy place. Well, technically, a tiny café in Astoria was her happy place, but this was a close second. The lab almost always had Bruce, the ray of nervous sunshine she’d come to know and love. It also had Tony, who, to be honest, scared the ever-loving shit out of her sometimes, but seemed to take on the role of mentor-borderline-dad pretty quickly. When he greeted her with a cup of her favourite coffee, she made a mental note to ask Peter how long it took Tony to start “dad-ing” him.

“In honor of your last day shackled to this lab, Kona coffee with honey,” Tony smiled as he thrust the cup into Harper’s hands. He was quick to note the millisecond of apprehension in her returned smile. “Come on, kid, you’re going to be fine. We already like you, and that’s half the battle.” Bruce looked up from what looked like a pile of lime jello,

“Arguably that’s more than half the battle, Tony.” Harper smiled as she sipped the coffee.

The rest of the morning passed without any major incidents. Bruce shocked himself while trying to break down the Not Jello, as Tony had dubbed it, Tony fine-tuned some upgrades for Peter, while Harper got busy fixing a broken datapad. Time seemed to tick by Harper agonizingly slowly; her field-work clearance should be in by end of the workday. It was currently four in the afternoon, an hour before they usually set up shop, and there was still no word on Fury’s final verdict. Maybe they changed their minds. It would make sense after all. Things had been going well, too well for her comfort. She made a mental note of where she had stowed her suitcases - just in case. If all else fails, she could always teach, right?

“Harper, I’ve been calling your name for the last ten minutes, can you please hand me the electrodes?” Harper was startled back into reality by Banner’s request and quickly tossed the electrodes across the room.

“I don’t know what we’re trying to get out of this, Brucie” She could hear the sound of his eyes rolling from ten feet away, “we’ve been looking at this excretion...Not...Jello forever and we have nothing to show for it!”

Bruce muttered something about Tony and deadlines and returned back to trying to shock the substance into sharing its deep dark secrets. Just as Harper resigned herself to her inevitable exit, Steve appeared in the doorway brandishing a manilla folder and an unreadable expression. Her clearance paperwork had come in.

Turns out, the upside to working for a global (interstellar?) espionage organization was that they already know everything there is to know about everyone, at any given time. Honestly, Harper thought, if it wasn’t working to her advantage, she’d find it a terrifying invasion of privacy. All of the secrets she had been so worried about coming to light had already been revealed a long time ago, Steve assured with a soft smile. This should have been able to soothe her leg-bouncing anxiety, but alas, here she sat in a conference room, her entire life spread out on the table before her, with the incessant squeaking of the bouncing office chair providing the perfect background to her anxiety. After she found herself able to tear herself away from the papers, Harper found the will to speak, though softly.

     “D-do you have any questions, comments, or concerns?” She poses her standard lab-tech briefing questions with a watery smile. Steve smiles at her usage of the familiar phrase, one that always followed the team being gifted a new piece of tech.

    “Were you going to tell us, or was your plan just to let us find out on our own,” he asks as he moves a paper toward her. She swears she can see a mixture of concern and another emotion taint his smile...was that anger? She doesn’t have to look down to see what it is; she knows it’s her record.

    “About what? The criminal record, kidnapping, or shitty gene mutation?” Harper was desperate to lighten the suffocating air that had come over the conference room. The Captain responds with a glare that could make Thor feel chastised,

    “Kid, I’m serious.”

    “I know, I know. I’m sorry,” she runs a shaky hand through her hair, “I knew it would all come up eventually, and I didn’t want to walk into this looking like I wanted sympathy or special treatment. My record is sealed to the public, and besides the murder was justified...see: kidnapping. And the powers…” she visibly winces as years of torment at the hands of her peers suddenly comes to the surface of her memory, “it’s not the best thing to mention in conversation. It’s not like I use them outside of extreme emergencies, anyway.” Steve quirks a brow,

    “So what do you prefer to use in the field, then?” Harper smiles and rises out of her chair. While looking the Captain dead in the eye, she hikes her skirt up just past her mid-thigh to reveal two kunai safely holstered to her upper thigh. She cackled as the tips of Steve’s ears turned a bashful pink and he hastily averted his eyes.

    “Relax, Steven, I’m not flashing you.” He slowly returns his gaze to the knives, “I just like to be prepared, and my gun looks funny under a skirt.”

    “You do know you’re supposed to disclose personal concealed weapons, right?” Steve’s eyes are fixed to a very interesting spot on the ceiling. Harper laughed again,

    “Well, yeah, but where’s the fun in that?”

  



	3. Anemic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cue the training montage!

  
    Unfortunately, with being cleared for field work (yay!) came mandatory training and workouts (no!), and Harper was not excited about that. Couch potato she is not, but the Avengers work out  _hard._ Her old team worked out slightly harder than a normal group of gym rats; the average Avenger worked out like something was actively trying to kill them, which isn’t that far from the truth. Steve had instructed her to arrive down at the gym no later than 7:30 the next morning. So, naturally, at 7:27 Harper was fully sprinting to the elevator.

    “Hold the door, please!” Much to her horror, a large, metal hand stops the door. Shit. Of course he’d be the first person to see her like this; nervous and flustered. Bucky is the perfect blend of intimidating and charming. Dangerous and sweet. Like one of those suckers with a scorpion in it. Harper felt a set of blue eyes rake over her hodge-podge workout gear and she gracefully fell into the elevator.

    “You plan on joining us this morning, or somethin’?” Bucky asks skeptically. Harper, trying to regain some semblance of her dignity, cleared her throat,

    “I got cleared for field duty yesterday. ‘M training with the team now,” she beamed. Bucky returned a warm grin,

     “Happy to hear that, doll, I promise to go easy on ya.” Harper rolled her eyes playfully. She knew he wasn’t serious, but it did bring up a legitimate fear that they’d make her spar with Thor on her first day.

    The good news was there was no Thor-sparring on the first day, the bad news was the two mile run, followed by weights, followed by sparring with Peter. Have you ever tried to hit someone who can sense your every move before you make it? Not. Fun. Overall, she didn’t embarrass herself nearly as badly as she’d assumed she would. After Steve let her lie on the floor to catch her breath, he decided to drop the bomb, in front of the whole team, no less.

    “Alright, kid, you’re sparring Wanda next,” he nodded to the brunette wrapping her hands in the corner. This was going to be fine, in hand-to-hand, Harper and Wanda were a decent match, she thought. Steve interrupted her thoughts of getting down and dirty on the mat with her (second) favorite telepath, “powers only.”

    Harper blanched as much as a Maybelline 110 could. “Stevie, I don’t think you understood yesterday. Powers are emergency only for me.” Steve crossed his arms in a way only Captain America could,

    “You need to be ready for emergencies, Harper, no exceptions.”

    “Okay,” she countered as she stepped forward to meet a wary Wanda, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

    Steve had seen Harper’s old code name in her file, and even read what her powers entailed. Wanda, her best friend, had an idea of what to expect. Both of them underestimated the horror that would unfold in front of them. Bucky and Sam were innocent bystanders.

    Harper unsheathed her kunai from the belt around her waist and dug the two blades deep into her forearms. Sam reached out to call out and stop her, arm extended in horror as he watched his friend mutilate herself on the mat while Bucky stood in surprise. Steve simply said, “begin”.

    Someone should write a book on how to tell your friends that your “superpowers” are freaky. Like, no one ever talks about people like Rouge, that one kid with the Eldritch portal, or Harper. Blood pouring out of her forearms, Harper pulled her focus into whipping Wanda off her center. A tendril of blood followed the sweep of her hand and successfully tripped the fast-advancing-glowing Wanda. Sam looked like he wanted to hurl, Harper noted, while Bucky looked...impressed? That’s good, right? The match was the Scarlet Witch versus Bloody Mary; a sea of crimson-on-vermillion. Raw power versus iron and plasma. It was a decently fair fight, but Wanda gained the upper hand from nothing more than being more “in practice”. They both knew who’d win in a fight on a good day.

    Sam did end up throwing up, but that’s pretty par for the course when people are introduced with Harper’s powers. She was too drained to really care about the mental and gastrointestinal well-being of her friend, and instead of checking on him, slumped to the floor; waiting for the wounds to heal with closed eyes.

    “That was a good fight, שוועסטער,” Wanda’s voice permeated the darkness as Harper found herself hoisted to her feet.

    “Thanks, שוועסטער,” Harper returned a lazy smile, “thanks for not puking on me.” She winked towards the very green Falcon sipping water in the corner of the gym.

    “Do you need any help getting back to your room,” Steve rushed to her side as he saw Harper sway slightly in her step.

    “Nope, kitchen, please actually.” Steve looked quizzically at the small girl under his arm.

    “I’m starving. Haven’t done that in a loooong time. Bacon. Need bacon. Take to bacon,” she replied, making grabby hands towards the kitchen.

    “I’ll take her,” Peter said, slipping a supportive hand around Harper’s waist. He’d seen the match from the opposite side of the gym, and was equally terrified of his lab partner, and incredibly impressed. Harper missed the glare that was thrown towards her friend-turned-stabilizer. All she cared about was getting that bacon.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally see Bucket and a taste of exactly what Harper has been hiding from the team! 
> 
> Maybelline 110 is a VERY pale foundation color, in case you're like my editor and you dont do makeup 
> 
> I deeply miss Jewish!Wanda so "שוועסטער" is Yiddish for "sister"


	4. Bring Home the Bacon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bacon is a cure-all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly flabbergasted that I have subs and kudos. Thanks for enjoying my self-indulgent brainchild. Don't be afraid to drop a comment, too! :)

    Bacon is a gift from God, Harper muses as Peter steers her into the elevator, but only rashers were worthy of God himself. Charles had taught her that. 

    “You do know you’re monologuing out loud, right, Harper?” Peter pulls her out of her bacon-filled reverie. She blushes, still very much woozy from overexertion,

    “Shhhh, bacon first, talking later,” Harper finds her legs just in time to saunter, mostly stable, out of the elevator and to the kitchen, “do you want in on the salty meat party?”

    Peter didn’t need to stop and think before responding, “oh hell yeah,” as he sat at the kitchen island. The two had become fast friends while working in Tony’s lab. The two youngest recruits had bonded over the trials and tribulations of finishing school while Avenger-ing, and a general love for Star Wars. Their friendship had sustained outside of the lab, and many months after undergrad graduation. “So have you seen the new Star Wars trailer?” Harper laughed as she clicked on the stove top, 

    “Yeah, it doesn’t look awful. I’m cautiously optimistic,” the sizzle of the bacon brings out a smile, “did you want to see it opening night? I’m sure Tony could get us in.” Peter smiled, “is this your way of telling me to ask Tony?” Harper laughs as she flips the bacon,

    “Of course you see right through me. Yeah, you’re his favorite; he can’t say no to you. Crispy or heathonous?” Without missing a beat, Peter replies,

    “Crispy, and he likes you too, you know. He wouldn’t have pushed for you to get out in the field if he didn’t want to keep you around.” This was new information,

    “Wait, what?” Harper turned to face her web-slinging comrade, dumbfounded.

    “Yeah, you didn’t know? He marched up to Fury and basically told him he’d blow up the lab if they didn’t clear you, said keeping you in the lab was a waste of talent...or so I heard,” Peter responds. Harper quickly turned back to the stove before Peter could see her eyes begin to water. Her thoughts are overrun with gratitude as she plates the bacon; _is this what being appreciated feels like?_ Settling down next to Peter, she finally finds the stability in her voice.

    “Wow, that’s-uh. I’ll have to thank him later.” Unable to verbalize her thanks, Harper leans her head against the boy’s shoulder, reveling in the moment. Before another word could be uttered, the moment is ruined by thunderous footsteps coming down the hall.

    “Do I smell burning?” Bruce exclaims, running a hand through his mussed hair.

    “No, Bruce, I’m just making bacon,” Harper replies excitedly.

    “So, yes you’re burning something,” Bucky enters from the elevator; _how did he hear that?_ “I’ve seen what you do to bacon. It’s a damn crime.” Upon seeing the position of the dynamic duo, Bucky stops in his tracks.

    Harper rolls her eyes from her place on Peter’s shoulder. “Excuse you, I think floppy bacon is a crime that should be punishable by death, right, Peter?” Peter utters an affirmative grunt, occupied by the plate of bacon in front of him. Harper can feel Bucky’s eyes on the back of her head as he retreats towards the bar in the corner of the room. Paying no mind to him, Harper extracted herself from Peter’s side to jog after the older man. “So how’s Sam doing? I saw him hurl from the sidelines.”

    Bucky laughs, “He’s fine; actually wanted me to tell you he’s sorry. Didn’t mean to offend...it was just-”

    “It’s a lot to see, especially if you’re not expecting it. I get it, thanks for telling me though,” she smiled softly, “honestly, I’m not used to folks seeing _that_ and not wanting to run me out of town. It means a lot to me. Especially to see you not even flinch.” Bucky’s smiled broadened. 

    “Me? Flinch? I don’t know what ya got me pegged as, kid, but I ain’t a guy who flinches.” Harper rolled her eyes,

    “I told you to stop calling me that! I’m 23! I have a degree!” Bucky shoots her smirk as he retreats back into the elevator, bottle in hand.

    “Sorry, _doll_ , I’ll remember next time that your piece of paper negates the seventy-eight years I got on ya.” The doors to the elevator shut before Harper can come up with a rebuttal. _Kid...who gave him the right to call me that. And that smirk. Who gave him the right to do THAT._

    “Harper,” Peter calls, “you’re doing the “out loud” thing again.” 

  
  



	5. Here's Looking at You, Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby's first mission!

    Tucked back in the safety of her room, the whole “kid” thing was starting to weigh on Harper. Sure, it was one thing when Steve did it; he was like her older, buffer brother. And she definitely didn't want to jump his bones. Sure, there was almost a ten year _physical_ age difference between her and Bucky, but one of her best friends is dating a literal robot, and the other is also dating a chronologically older, enhanced person. Nat definitely doesn’t look a day over 27, and  It’s not like Clint minded, anyway. “Because that’s not a thing people care about in this century,” she thought to herself. Now she just needed a way to bring good-ole Bucko up to speed. Before any progress could be made, Harper was brought out of her thoughts by a message from above,

    “Miss Hemakeavric, your presence is requested in the Situation Room immediately,” FRIDAY chimed.

    “Thanks, God. Tell Toe I’ll be there in a second.” So much for Operation: Electric Buck-a-loo. 

    Down in the Situation Room, the team was already assembled around the large conference table. Harper definitely didn’t expect to be back in this room so soon after going over her clearance with Steve. She was apparently the last to arrive. Most of the team was well-engrossed in lively conversations. The only open chair was between the bickering Clint and Sam.

     “Hey, boys. What’s the deal? Do we get to go somewhere cool?” Harper beamed excitedly to the two men beside her. 

    ‘We don’t know yet, either. My money's on an extraction job in Monaco,” Clint replied, handing Bruce a five dollar bill.

    “And mine’s on a Hydra cell in Alaska. It’s too cold to be doing any good up there,” Sam quipped, also handing Bruce a five. Harper looked incredulously between the two,

    “Do you guys do this before every mission?” 

    Bruce smiled from across the table, “just the surprise ones, otherwise these two bozos would’ve run dry a long time ago.” He continues as he counts the pot, “my bet is on recon in Italy. And I’m rarely wrong.” Before the conversation could carry on any further, the screen at the back of the room blinked to light, and Harper’s first-ever emergency briefing was underway.

    Turns out, none of the gamblers’ guesses had been fully correct. The mission called for a party of four to do recon at a Hydra base in Alaska. Suspicious activity might point to weapon’s smuggling, Steve had said. Since the requirements for the mission were “sneaky sneaky” as Clint liked to say, the team elected Natasha, Clint, Bucky, and Harper to go. This moment should have been exciting, had it not been for the intense fear of embarrassing herself in front of her intimidating friends and hypothetical love interest. However, this was a good a chance as any to prove to Bucky that she wasn’t a kid. Operation: Electric Buck-a-loo was back in action. 

    Steve had given them twenty-four hours to pack a bag, for which Harper was thankful. She has no idea what to put in a “go bag”. “Nat please don't laugh at me, we did things differently at school,” Harper pleaded as the red-head settled onto the blonde’s bed.

    “I’m not laughing at you, Harper,” she assured with an unconvincing smile, “it’s cute. Naivety is cute before it gets you killed.” Harper blanched,

    “Look, Nat, I know you’re trying to lighten the mood before my first big foray on the Avengers’ payroll, but can we please not say the ‘k’ word?” 

    “Fine. Only if you let me take a picture before we leave tomorrow.”

    “...deal,” Harper reluctantly responded, “now what the actual fuck am I supposed to be packing?”

     After Natasha left, Harper dug-out her school duffle bag from the back of her closet, Harper went to retrieve her tactical suits from their designated compartment, only to discover it was missing.

    “FRIDAY, who’s had access to my room today,” Harper squeaked, frantically throwing clothes over her head. A voice from behind her broke through the panicked silence,

    “Jeeze, kid, stop tearing the house down,” Tony spoke suddenly, the surprise making Harper hit her head on the closet door. “I have your suit and backup right here,” he said as he brandished the two missing suits, carefully hung on hangers. “I took the liberty of redesigning and updating the tech in your suit. Can’t have the kid get ganked on her first mission, can we?” He said with a sarcastic, saccharine smile. Harper smiles broadly in return,

    “Awe, thanks, Toe. I don’t want to wind up dead either!” She lunged at Tony, grappling him in a bear hug. “Now gimme the tutorial. I want to see them in action.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm serious, don't be afraid to drop a comment! I'm looking specifically at the four of you I'm forcing to read this!!


	6. One Bed?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a successful mission, will Clint make everyone endure a round of Monopoly? Or: Safe House Adventures - The Bed Issue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's THAT cliché chapter. Don't forget to like, comment, and sub ;)

   The mission went better than Harper could’ve expected. For one, no one died. Two, her team actually listened to what she had to say (shocker!”). Thirdly, they were able to gather useful intel. The differences between her old team and her new one were staggering. Harper chalked it up to professionalism and the fact that they all seemed to enjoy each other outside of work. Well, one would hope since Clint and Nat were an item. Harper and Bucky are...friends? She thought back to the “kid” moment from the other day and scowled as they made their way to the safe house for the night. They were all far too tired and grimey to even think of the hours-long Quinjet ride to the tower. Harper was pretty sure she had at least one broken rib and a sizeable gash across her scalp. Cramped in the backseat of a two-door sedan, Harper and Nat were silent, while their partners carried on an easy conversation in the front. 

    “So, you survived,” Natasha murmured, “congrats on getting your first one under your belt, kid.” She didn’t miss the grimace Harper made at the utterance of the word. 

    “God, not you too. Please, please don’t call me that,” Harper pleaded softly. “I’m not a kid. I’m 23. I’ve survived as much as the next mutant. I just,” she stops, “it feels demeaning when people call me that.” Harper catches herself staring dramatically out the car window and mentally kicks herself for looking so pathetic. Natasha watches her friend carefully, remembering what little she knew about Harper’s history.

    “I’m sorry, it’s a protective instinct, I hope you know that,” she smiles lightly, placing her hand on Harper’s shoulder.

    “I know, it’s just difficult. And most of it is bad associations from before, but with this whole,” she gestures slightly to the back of Bucky’s head,” thing; it just adds salt to the wound. Ya know? I want him to see me as an adult. An equal. Not a squishy thing that needs protecting.”  Natasha smiles knowingly,

    “Well, after today, no one can claim you’re weak. You kicked ass, Harper. You should be proud of yourself.”

    “Thanks, mom,” Harper laughed with an eye roll. “So, now’s as good of a time as I’ll get to ask,” she spoke up, addressing the rest of the car, “what exactly _is_ a safe house?”

    A safe house, apparently, is a safe place for SHIELD agents to lie low after or during missions, Clint had explained, unsure why Harper had never heard of using one before. She had explained the lack of stealth missions on her old team in return. 

    “They’re incredibly basic,” Clint continued, “but there’s always a functioning coffee pot and a place to sleep. Sometimes Monopoly, if you’re lucky.” Harper scoffed,

    “I’m never playing Monopoly with you people. Someone will end up dead. Remember poker night?” Bucky chuckled from the front seat,

    “How could we forget? Steve almost put Tony’s head through a window, and Parker won the whole damn thing. Still think he was counting cards,” Bucky trailed off, remembering the night’s events. Peter had in fact been counting cards and used the money from the game to fund a movie night for the younger Avengers. Harper smiled as she recalled the massive amounts of pizza her and Wanda had trucked through during their _Matrix_ movie marathon. Pulled out of her thoughts once again by the sound of crunching gravel,  Harper looked out the window only to see a quaint cabin at the end of the road. They’d arrived at long last.

    “Dibs on the first shower!” Harper shot her hand in the air too quickly and was painfully reminded of her rib situation. “God damn it,” she hissed as she retrieved her go-bag from the trunk of the car, “can someone help me tape myself back together?” Natasha went to answer, but was cut off,

    “I’ll show you if you make sure I’m not concussed,” Bucky suggested as he held the door for the two women.

    “Sounds like a deal, Sarge,” Harper beamed back. Natasha elbowed Clint, waggling her eyebrows and clearly thrilled with what was taking place in front of them. Sighing internally at his partner, Clint went to investigate the room situation while Harper made a bee-line for the bathroom. It was the best shower of her life, sure the water pressure wasn’t fantastic, but getting the grime off of her skin was a blessing. It is, however, difficult to shower without lifting one’s arms. After somehow drying her hair and changing into clean clothes, Harper emerged from the steamy bathroom to find a Very Blushy Bucky. “Everything kosher, Buck?” she asked. 

    “Well, there’s only two beds,” he explained. Harper, having had a roommate her entire pre-Avenger’s life, was unfazed by this. “I’ll take the couch, you can take the other bed,” he suggested.

    “James Buchanan Barnes you are not sleeping on that _thing_ ,” Harper gestured to the lumpy, patchy piece of furniture that was the alleged couch. “I promise I’m okay sharing the bed. I’ll stay on my side and I won’t force you to play Twenty Questions with me.” Bucky shot her a confused glare. “Don’t ask,” she muttered in reply. “Anyway, Sarge, I promise it’s okay as long as you’re comfortable with it.” She smiled reassuringly while internally jumping for joy. Bucky took a long, hard though before reluctantly nodding his head,

    “Alright, kid, fine. Now make sure I’m not going to die in my sleep.”

     They had to look ridiculous, Harper was sure of it: two grown adults in bed with a pillow wall in between them. But if this is what they had to do to ensure each other’s comfort, then so be it, she thought. However, the awkwardness lingering in the air was palpable; there’s only so far that staring at the ceiling in silence can take you.

    “Thanks for taping my ribs,” Harper murmured in the darkness, unsure if her bedmate was awake. 

    “Thanks for making sure I’m not concussed,” Bucky grumbled back. The silence persisted. It was beginning to make Harper extremely nervous, not because she found herself sharing a bed with the person she admired, but because darkness and silence usher in remembrance. 

    “Animal, vegetable, or mineral?” She asked quietly.

    “What?” Bucky obviously was new to this rodeo.

    “It’s Twenty Questions. Play with me, I can’t sleep,” she pleaded quietly. She felt the bed shift from the other side of Mount Pillow-manjaro. 

    “What’s going on? Your heartbeat is so fast I can feel it through the mattress.” Bucky looked at her incredulously. Harper bit her lip, mulling over exactly what to say,

    “It has to do with something that happened to me as a kid. I can’t stand feeling like someone is watching me sleep.” Bucky emerged from the other side of the pillow wall.

    “Would it help if I promised I’m not watching you sleep?” Harper laughed,

    “Unfortunately, no. But that’s how the Twenty Questions thing started. My roommate at school and I would play until I fell asleep.” Harper smiled fondly at the memory. Bucky raised an eyebrow,

    “Do you want to talk about it at all? I mean, surviving trauma is in my National Geographic bio.” Harper laughed but quickly was reminded of her rib situation.

    “It’s a conversation for another time.”

    “Alright...Animal, vegetable, or mineral?”

  
  


 


	7. Jungle Pool SOS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short, summery interlude because it's too hot to function right now.

 

    It had been two weeks since “The Bed Incident”, and neither Bucky nor Harper had mentioned it. Clint and Natasha, however, could not stop talking about the over heard round of Twenty Questions. The story was now a team-night staple. Tonight was no different. 

    “It was adorable, all we could hear over the shitty AC was ‘animal, vegetable, or mineral,” Natasha cooed over a glass of scotch, shooting Harper a knowing glance.

    “I stand by what I said: it helps me fall asleep, and I have no shame in admitting that,” Harper countered while picking the label off of her now-warm beer. “I also know that Clint sleeps spooning Lucky when you’re away so HA,” she stuck out her tongue at the archer. Clint feigned heartbreak from his seat next to Nat on the couch. “Now can we please get on with our lives? I want to go swimming!” Harper pouted. Tony just had the roof-top pool redone, and it was begging to be broken in.

    “Swimming? I’m in,” Sam chimed in from the doorway, “we can lug a cooler up there! Beer and swimming are meant to go together.”

    “Can’t argue with that,” Clint said with a raise of his glass.

   “So, tomorrow morning. Let’s say ten o’clock. We swim,” Harper declared, jumping to her feet, “I’ll alert the masses. See y’all tomorrow!” She smiled wickedly before darting to the elevator. “FRIDAY, send an all-team message. Mandatory meeting on floor 45, swim attire mandatory. Absences not excused and punishable by death.” 

It was time to work on “Operation: Electric Buck-a-loo”

______________________________________________________________________

    The best part of a pool party is the food, and Tony spared no expense on the last-minute party. There was enough alcohol and munchies to float a boat. Being surrounded by scantily clad Avengers was a plus, too. Harper just hoped Bucky would show. She understood his reluctance, but hoped the offer of beer would be enough for the bear to emerge from his cave.  _ Or is Bucky more of a hamster...fluffy and decently unassuming with a bad bite?  _

    “Harper, you’re doing it again,” a familiar voice brought her from her thoughts.

    “Sorry, Peter, I guess to need to glue my mouth shut,” she laughed, carefully scanning the room for the familiar steel eyes.  _ Bingo _ . “Parker, can I ask you a favor,” she smiled sweetly.

    “Sure, what’cha need,” Peter smiled back. Harper reached out to touch his bicep. 

    “Just...play along, would ‘ja?” She said as she threw her head back in a laugh, coupled with a sweet smile. Peter was a smart guy; he knew exactly what was going on,

    “Operation: Electric Buck-a-loo is a ‘go’ then, I guess?” he smirked. Harper’s smile widened. 

    “Oh hell yeah.” She and Peter had discussed Harper’s feelings for the super-soldier many a time over many a term paper. This plan was months in the making.

    “And you think that literal wall of muscle is going to be jealous of this,” he gestured to his comparably lean frame. Harper rolled her eyes,

    “I’m going to beat Clint and Wanda in beer pong now, wanna be my second?” Peter laughed and followed his friend to the deck of the pool. On the other side, Bucky stood next to Steve, angrily gripping a beer bottle, 

    “You know, Buck, you could just talk to her. It’s not like you two aren’t friends.” Steve nudged his friend’s shoulder. 

    “I know, it’s just-” Bucky ran a hand through his hair with a huff, “she can do better. She should do better.”

   “Fair enough,” Steve countered, “but what if she doesn’t want to?”  

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this title is like that one episode of Ouran High School Host Club.


	8. Guys My Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long-awaited return of Bubs the cat!!

_    This was stupid _ , Harper thought to herself as cleaned her pistol,  _ adults don’t play games like this _ . But at the same time, how else was she going to get his attention? These thoughts poured into her brain as she sat shoulder to shoulder with the man in question. It was Bucky and Harper’s bi-weekly Star Trek and Gun Cleaning Night, and they had finally reached the beginning of T’Pol and Tripp’s beginning feelings. _ Why can’t TV be real _ , she thought,  _ love stories are so much easier _ . Bubs chirped happily as Bucky petted the spot behind her ears. She had a weird fascination with his metal arm.

   “I don’t understand the tension between Vulcans and humans,” Bucky spoke, breaking the silence. 

  “I think it’s in humanity’s nature to hate what’s different...at least initially. We both can speak to that,” Harper grumbled. Bucky nodded,

  “You can say that again.”

  “I think it’s in humanity’s nature to-,” Bucky groaned, throwing his cleaning cloth at her.

  “Very funny, kid. Ya missed a spot.” He nodded to a point on the hilt of her gun. Harper’s face soured  _ there he goes with that kid shit again _ , she thought. Finally, in a rare moment of boldness, Harper chimes in,

  “Did I ever tell you the Twenty Questions story?” Bucky studied her face for a moment,

  “No, why?”

  “I just figured I should tell you if that’s okay.” Harper smiled awkwardly. Bucky nodded,

  “If you want, go for it.”

  “Well, for starters, I killed a US Senator once…” Harper wished she would have taken a picture of Bucky’s face at that moment. 

  Bucky felt like an ass. He’d been treating the younger girl with kid gloves this entire time, but she’d gone through almost as much as he had. He gained a lot of respect for Harper. Surviving captivity, brainwashing, and a mutant-filled school sounded extremely taxing. Listening to her recall the tales of middle school bullies made him think back to how much he’d gone around protecting Steve back in the day. Harper didn’t get someone like that until much later. Her roommate, Rown, had been the one to suggest Twenty Questions to help curb her nightmares. She also made sure Harper had a friend or two.

  “We didn’t stay friends, though,” Harper smiled sadly, “I was holding her back. She had other friends. I get it, though. I’m a lot to handle.” This broke Bucky’s heart even more than her story. “I’m just used to not having a ton of friends, but that’s why y’all are so important to me.” She smiled slightly, “we are friends though, right? I feel like I can’t get a read on your steely, blue-eyed mystique.” Bucky returned a warm smile,

  “Yeah, Doll, we’re friends.”

  Later that night, after giving Bubs a thorough brushing, Harper was in need of a snack.  _ Friends _ , she thought to herself on her way to the kitchen,  _ at least that’s better than nothing _ . 

  “Just ask her to dinner, you oaf. It’s not that hard,” she heard Natasha say. The reply was indistinguishable, but Harper would recognize the timbre of that voice anywhere. Natasha was trying to give dating advice to Bucky?

  “She’s not interested, Nat, she asked if we were friends, and I said  _ yes. _ I’m too old for her.” That reply Harper heard, and it was disheartening, to say the least. In desperate need of lightening the mood, Harper traipsed into the kitchen.

  “Why are we talking about how old Bucko is,” she asked coyly,  Natasha smirked,

  “we’re trying to figure out if he qualifies for the senior discount at the movies.” 

  “Huh, I guess there’s only one way to figure that out. Hey, Buck, you wanna see that new Jack Black movie with me? I know you liked him in Nacho Libre,” Harper suggested blasély. Bucky bit back his surprise,

  “What, you wanna go on a date with an old-timer like me?”

  “Date might be pushing it,” Harper laughed, internally screaming.  _ Play it cool,  _ _ Hemakeavric, _ “but what can I say? Guys my age don’t know how to treat me.”  _ Yikes, okay, maybe too cool. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first fic ever and i'm constantly worried about it sucking. sorry if bucko is ooc i'm tryin guys.


	9. Date Night?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trouble in paradise? Foot, meet mouth.

How Harper managed to get here, she really didn’t know, she thought as she applied a health amount of blush, hoping to hide the nervous paled tone she was currently supporting. In her efforts to play it cool with Bucky, she’d accidentally asked him on a date. Should be great, right? Wrong. Harper had only recently confirmed that they were, in fact, friends. And now, here she was prepping for a date she wasn’t entirely sure she was ready for. _Damn my quick wit,_ she thought. She made sure to keep everything simple; thing wasn’t a real date, after all. Just two friends going to see a movie together. Alone. When one was entirely head over heels for the other. You know, normal situations that happen all the time. Finally convinced she didn’t look like a walking corpse, Harper laid down on the edge of her bed, awaiting the inevitable knock of her not-date. Bubs seemed to pick up on her nervous energy and uncermounsuly plopped down on her chest at the exact moment there was a knock at the door. 

“It’s open,” she called from under the grey pile of cat currently occupying most of her torso. The door opened slowly to reveal Bucky, dressed in a crisp blue button down and jeans. His long hair was tied back in a sleek bun. He looked like a walking dream boat. “You look rather dapper, Barnes,” she smiled as she rolled Bubs off her chest.

“It’s an excuse to wear something with buttons,” he smiled as he offered her a hand. A little known fact about one James Barnes is that the man loves his fashion, given the chance, he’d out dress Natasha if he could. He was the only person Harper knew who actually enjoyed dressing up for Tony’s parties, even if it did mean suffering through large quantities of drunk people. Perhaps it was a hold-over from his “ladies man” past. “Harper, did you hear me, we’re going to be late if you don’t get moving,” she was quickly pulled from her thoughts. 

“Sorry, yeah, let me grab my bag. Did you want to walk or take a car,” she asked as she threw her purse over her shoulder. 

“We can take my bike,” Bucky rubbed his neck awkwardly, “I mean, if you’re okay with that.” Harper had dreamt of this moment for months; riding through the city on the back of Bucky’s motorcycle. The proximity of it all was tantalising to say the least. 

“Sure,” she answered too quickly, “I mean, I don’t have an issue with it. Promise.”

“Perfect,” he smiled back. “So, what’s this movie about again,” he asked as they made their way down to the garage. 

“I think Jack Black is playing a zombie mall cop, not too sure though”

 

The ride to the theatre was everything Harper could’ve dreamed of. Like something out of a movie, he offered her a spare helmet, and told her to “hold on tight”. The movie itself was tame, they shared a bucket of popcorn and Harper got a coveted blue Icee. Other than that, there was nothing to write home about, much to Harper’s shagrin. She had hoped this would be the moment Bucky would confess all that he had said in the kitchen, but alas, it was not the case. There wasn’t even the fated “and they both reached for the popcorn” moment. They did, however, find out that Bucky could get the senior matinee discount.

“Did you want to get dinner? I know a good spot,” Bucky asked, again interrupting Harper’s internal monologue as they left the theatre.

“I’m down,” she smiled, “where did you have in mind?”

And that’s how they ended up at a hole-in-the-wall Thai place. The decor was probably from the 1980’s, and it looked like it hadn’t been dusted since then, either.

“I promise the food is better than this,” Bucky made a vague gesture to the fading wallpaper. 

“I trust you; you’ve never done me dirty on dinner before,” Harper replied. On a long-standing video game night,over the course of several weeks, Bucky and Harper had ordered take out from over twenty places, never the same twice, and always his suggestion.  No one had died yet. 

“So, guys your age don’t know how to treat you, huh?” Bucky smirked, taking a drink of his water. Harper nearly spat hers out. She had sincerely hoped he hadn’t remembered that; she’d been counting on his faulty memory to carry over into the short-term. 

“I - um. I didn’t mean -. Oh god this is embarrassing please kill me,” she buried her head in her hands. Bucky just laughed,

“I’m just pulling your leg, Doll,” he smirked, “but this would explain your lack of ‘gentlemen callers.”

“Oh dear god please stop talking,” Harper pleaded, “you’ve been spending too much time with Thor. Who the fuck even says ‘gentleman callers?’”

“All I’m saying is that a pretty little thing like you not going on dates like they’re going out of style is a crime,” he said with a laugh.

 _Oh wow_ , Harper thought, _this is happening_ . _Okay, breathe_. Joke or not, the look in his eyes was intoxicating.

“James Barnes, are you actually trying to put the moves on me? Because it’s going to take more than that to get me to admit this is a real date.” Harper laughed, attempting to hide her blush. Bucky’s gaze turned serious for a moment,

“Kid, we both know I’m too...we’re not… you should,” he stumbled, trying to find his wording. Harper’s hear drops faster than a stone. Of course, this was all just a friendly joke to him. 

“I get it, Buck. You’re too old, I’m too weird. I’ve heard it all before. You can save your excuses,” she says with a saccharine smile. 

“Harper I didn’t mean -”

“More water?” The server appeared out of nowhere; this was going to be an interesting evening. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, please feel free to leave a comment!


	10. Wine Heals All Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harper tries to cope with how dumb boys can be, and if she's finally put her foot in her mouth.

A few hours had passed since the fateful “not date” and things between Bucky and Harper were fine, at least on the surface level. They still planned to meet up for video games and take-out roulette-business as usual. The weekly, or biweekly, video game nights had started when Bucky accidentally watched Harper play through the entire first Kingdom Hearts game during a shared bought of insomnia soon after she moved into the tower. Since then, they've made it a point to get together to either play a game together or watch the other play while backseat driving. The latter was Harper’s personal favorite. Tonight, despite the awkward circumstances, would be no different. Right? In the aftermath of their outing, on a walk through the park, Harper had laughed away her behavior at dinner, explaining that she had just been pulling his leg. She made up an excuse to turn in early; something about a long day in the lab. In reality, she’d gone back to her room and lamented her fate to Natasha and Wanda. Wine may have been involved.

“And then, after all that slick _shit_ , he has the _nerve_ to tell me it was all in good fun. Are you  _f u c k i n g_  kidding me?!” Harper aggressively paced her room, a half-empty bottle of wine sloshing in her hand as she gestured. “And he called me ‘kid’ again! I literally do _not_ understand this man.” She plopped onto the bed in between the two women. 

“I don’t know either, Harper, honestly. Men can be so confusing,” Wanda sympathized, “maybe he’s just not ready to admit his feelings?” Harper rolled her eyes,

“He was more than able to tell Nat everything,” she gestured to the redhead beside her, “and he’s the one who thinks I’m not interested. I don’t understand; I thought it was blatantly obvious how I felt? And that I didn’t care about the age thing?”

“Men are difficult,” Natasha sighed, “they’re idiots sometimes. I honestly don’t know what to do here either. It sounds like Barnes has some shit to work through on his end.” With a ‘harumph’ Harper settled into the duvet,

“Fine, if he needs to figure his shit out, I’ll let him. But I’m not about to pretend that I don’t know that he has feelings for me.”

 

The next morning, Harper was woken up by a pounding on her door,

“Harper, if you don’t get up now, Steve is going to make you run an extra mile for being late.” Shit, that was Peter. And if that was Peter, that meant she was late for training. God damn it. Her head was pounding and the room was tilting. 

“‘M coming. Please knock softer, I’m dying here,” she groaned into her pillow as she rolled out of bed. Harper got dressed as fast as her groggy brain would let her and hurried down to the training room. 

“Rough night?” Peter greeted her with a knowing smirk as he prepped for their weekly boxing round.

“More like rough existence, but the chardonnay sure didn’t help,” Harper bit back.

“Woah, dude, you good? The last time you said something like that was your org-chem-two final lab,” Peter knew something actually had to be wrong to warrant that response. 

“It’s Operation: Electric Buck-a-loo issues,” she murmured as she began wrapping her hands, “I don’t want to bore you with the details.” 

“Did he do something to hurt you? Because I know I said he’s a wall of muscle but I’m pretty sure I can find a way to take him down.”

“No, Peter, heel,” Harper laughed, “I just- I’m okay, right? Like, as a person?” Peter stopped in his tracks,

“Harper, you’re a great person, and I’m not going to indulge whatever hungover-funk you’re in. Shut your brain up and let’s get on with the day.”

“We’re still hanging out tonight, which should be interesting,” Harper said in between dodging Peter’s fists.

“If you need an out, I’m happy to blow something up in the lab,” Peter smiled as he landed a hit. 

Harper felt slightly nervous for what the night held for her. She knew for a fact part of it was _Outlast 2_ , but it wasn't the premise of the game or the hangover that was making her stomach turn. _Boys are dumb._


End file.
